From Joe Mayo
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners almost on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. “STOP!,” he shouted in a firm voice. “Have you got a license for that thing?”
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper and held it up to him.
“OK, you can go,” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner, building up speed, near the TV lounge Weird Wally popped out in front of her and shouted “STOP!, have you got proof of insurance?”
Ethel dug into her handbag again and pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him.
Harold nodded and said, “You may go, but you better slow that thing down or next time I’m gonna have write you a ticket.”
Ethel pulled away slowly, but only for about six feet, then she hit the throttle.
As she neared the final hallway, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, butt-naked, and holding his ‘You-Know-What’ in his hand.
“Oh, good grief,” grimaced Ethel, “Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again!!!”